So…Who am I and how the hell did I end up here?
I’m so pleased you asked.
The short answer is, “I haven’t a clue.” It certainly ain’t where I expected to be at the ripe old age of 47.
After saying that, the fact that I made it to 47 years of age, is in itself a minor miracle. It could so easily have gone even more wrong, so many times.
Don’t get me wrong, other people have had it so much worse than I ever did, it’s just that the life I have now, is so far removed from the one I expected to have. Know what I mean?
So here’s the basics:
Born and bred in Dunedin, New Zealand, to two Scottish parents. One little brother (I use that term loosely, the dude’s got to be at least 6 foot tall).
Father died when I was 6. Heart Attack. His second one. He was 35. (See why I’m pleased to have made it to 47?)
I was brought up by a strong woman who was thrown into a life that she didn’t expect either. And her mother? Well, she had the life she probably expected (but may not have wanted), apart from those pesky world wars of course.
So, back to me. I’m boring myself now, so I’m going to cut this short.
Here’s the bare bones:
Left school at 15 and partied for a few years.
First diagnosed with Depression in my early twenties, but it probably started in childhood. I went through a phase of phantom stomach pains, which nobody could find a reason for when I was a kid. And now we know that’s one of the signs of childhood Depression. And I hit puberty around 11, and there was sexual abuse (minor compared to some) from a family friend. I know, I know, you’re stunned I have Depression aren’t you? Oh yeah, and there was the miscarriage at 17. More about that later.
So I went through a few mindless, boring jobs while partying.
And I’m not going to bore either you, or me, with reciting the names of the many arseholes I fell in love with over those years. Loser’s, the lot of them.
And then a miracle occurred and I fell into a job in mental health. That was when things started to get better. I had to attend Polytech for my new job, and that reminded me how much I enjoyed learning. So I started studying by correspondence and got myself a shiny Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology.
I married a dude, who had been a good friend for 20 or so year’s. He’s what I call “my reformed bad boy.” Although I often wonder just how reformed he actually is. We moved to Christchurch. Yep, four years before the earthquakes. Good timing was never one of my skills.
It sounds like my life was crap, doesn’t it?
It wasn’t all bad, I have a whole load of funny stories I’ll probably share with you at some point. But, without doubt, the greatest pain in my life, is that I never became a mother.
I hope I haven’t lost you, I’m getting to the good bit, I promise.
Years ago, back when I still thought I would have children eventually, a very good friend, family really, said to me “I know why you don’t have children yet. It’s because if you had kids, you would give them all your love, and then the rest of us that need your love, would miss out.” It remains one of, if not the, nicest things anyone has ever said to me, and I think of it often, especially when I’m really struggling.
So here I am now
I live a much quieter life now with much less drama. And that’s the way I like it. Well…when I say less drama, I mean in my own life. There’s plenty of drama going on in my working life, mostly created by my own hand.
Words are my thing, you see, and wordcasting is what I do best. I spend all of my days, and some of my nights, moving words around a page and turning that blank piece of paper, or blank screen, into something magical and beautiful.
I even invented a word. “Valtie.” It means Valued Auntie and is for women who are childless not by choice but are still valuable members of society. I like it.
I’d love to cast some words for you, maybe even create a word that’s just for you!
Email me, fill in the form, book a consultation with the Countess. (Who is the Countess? You can find out here). Hell, send me a smoke signal if you have to, I promise you won’t regret it.