Why Can’t Men in Hollywood Behave Themselves?

Another Day, Another Hollywood Sex Scandal

I must confess, I’m getting really tired of these headlines screeching that yet another man has been accused of sexual harassment and/or abuse by another actress.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not tired of the actresses telling their stories, I’m tired of the number of men that are being accused. It seems to go on and on. And on.

My morning’s social media reading stirred me up over this all over again, as one of my favorite actresses accuses a stuntman of molesting her when she was 12 years old. Twelve Years Old!

Now, there are so many issues that all these stories bring up and everybody has an opinion. As they should. In my opinion, sexual abuse is not acceptable in any way, shape, or form, but I also think that there are degrees of abuse.

The annoying co-star with the never-ending sexual innuendos is not in the same league as Harvey whats-his-horrible-face. Nope. Both behaviors are unacceptable, but one is much more heinous than the other. At the same time, the co-stars’ innuendo’s are annoying to an adult woman, but they become a whole different thing when they’re directed at a child.

Back to Eliza Dushku.

It reminded me of what Sir Ian McKellen said about women using sex in Hollywood.

Stay with me guys and gals. I’ll take you on the same journey my brain took.

Sir Ian stated in a speech at the Oxford Union that some actresses made it blatantly clear to anyone that would listen, that they would be happy to trade sex for roles. He did not say that any of the current actresses making sexual harassment claims were among these actresses, and he also added that even if the actresses were using sex to get roles, that doesn’t make it okay for the men to agree to it.

Sir Ian, of course, said all of that more eloquently than I just did, but that was the gist of it as far as I understand it.

So, here’s the thing. Eliza has made her claim and the stuntman has denied it. No surprises there. I read his denial, and if you were in this dude’s close circle, and you didn’t want to believe it, then his version of events is quite plausible.

And, if you’re twelve years old, working in an adult industry (with a child’s brain) and someone you trusted did that to you, wouldn’t you assume that’s how things worked? Wouldn’t you think that was what you were supposed to do? Can you see how it took me back to Sir Ian’s comments? Can you see why she didn’t speak up then?

Just so we’re clear, I’m not stating that’s what Eliza thought. I have no idea what she thought. I could probably guess though.

Anyhoo, why does all this wondering matter?

It matters because this behavior needs to stop.

The problem is, I don’t think we’ll be able to stop it until we figure out how, and why, it happens, in the first place. Yes, it’s perfectly reasonable to expect men to behave decently but just telling them to stop hasn’t worked so far, has it?

I was also struck by the verbal beating some of the men at the recent Golden Globes awards took for not mentioning the #metoo movement.

Yes. I agree. They absolutely should have been more vocal in supporting women. But in their defense, they probably don’t have a clue what to say. Do they apologize on behalf of all men? Do they loudly proclaim that all women are right? Look how well that worked out for Ben Affleck.

Once again, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending these actors either, I’m just trying to understand how that behavior comes about. So that it can be changed.

And let’s face it, I think the current state of affairs is proving that some men don’t know how to act appropriately without a script.

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Wiki - January 20, 2018 Reply

Hello ,

I saw your tweet about animals and thought I will check your website. I like it!

I love pets. I have two beautiful thai cats called Tammy(female) and Yommo(male). Yommo is 1 year older than Tommy. He acts like a bigger brother for her. 🙂
I have even created an Instagram account for them ( https://www.instagram.com/tayo_home/ ) and probably soon they will have more followers than me (kinda funny).

I wanted to subscribe to your newsletter, but I couldn’t find it. Do you have it?

Keep up the good work on your blog.


    Fiona - January 28, 2018 Reply

    Hi Wiki yes animals are delightful, aren’t they?
    If you want to subscribe to my newsletter just add your name and email address to download Living the Unscheduled, Unconventional Life at the top of the page

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