My Passion and Purpose

I promised I was going to share more about my own passion and purpose, didn’t I? I never promise anything I’m not going to deliver, so here’s a bit about my passion.

I write. I looooooooove to write.

I always have done. I also have a thing for lists. And filling in forms. And I have no problem admitting that I’m a bit odd.

Anyhoo, enough about my oddness. Back to writing. I’m writing a Vampire novel. Well…it has Vampires in it but it’s really about women. Mothers and not-mothers (I’m working on a better word for this group of women), women who have chosen not to have children, women who have lost children. Are you sensing a theme here?

I must confess that my book started out as therapy. It was a way to try and sort out my feelings and heal from my own childlessness. When I began, I really wasn’t sure if I was ever going to let it out for the world to see. It was too personal.

But then something I wasn’t expected happened.

The book took on a life of its own. The story evolved, the characters developed their own histories and grew in number. And most surprisingly, I had fun! Heaps of it. My head was spinning with the absolute joy of telling these people’s stories.

And yet, at the same time, I was telling my own story. There’s a little piece of me in each and every character and anyone who knows me will be able to tell which part is in which character. Which may or may not be a good thing. I’ll worry about that later. Through the characters in my book I could do and say things I never would in real life. (Countess Drusilla might). It was unbelievably liberating and healing.

And the icing on the cake? I could share all the stuff I’ve learnt over the years. It seems to me that the main role of a parent, apart from providing the basics like food, shelter, clothing, etc, is to teach their children. How to read, how to write, right from wrong, life lessons, how to be a decent human being. Doesn’t every parent want to spare their children the pain of learning things the hard way?

That want, that need, to share what you’ve learnt, is one of the hardest, perhaps the hardest part of never being a mother. For me anyway, so I’m assuming it’s the same for many of you.

I can’t share what I’ve learnt through my children. I can through my book. I know it’s not the same, but it’s the closest I’m ever going to get. And besides, my friends and family are really, really, tired of my lectures, informative though they are.

Just as I cannot put into words the pain of my childlessness, I cannot put into words the sheer joy that writing my novel has given me. And now? I can not wait to share it with the world!

Want a little teaser about my forthcoming debut novel? Here you go, click on the cover below:

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